Rani's Story

Rani had hoped that she would be the first girl from her area to finish her high school education. But she was married when she was 14, to a man 15 years her senior. Arranged marriages of this kind aren't very common in the big cities, but they are a normal affair in the villages. And since about 90% of the population lives in the villages, a young teenage girl can expect to marry an older man of her parents' choosing. Rani had only met her husband twice before they were married.

A girl is only ever a temporary member of her family. When she is married off in her early teens, she becomes part of her husband's family. She's bossed around by her mother-in-law, treated as a household servant; she has no advocate in her husband because, since it's an arranged marriage, he will invariably side with his family. She's an outsider, subjugated and powerless.

So instead of learning to write and read, 14-year-old Rani learnt how to please her mother-in-law. She rose early each day and spent her mornings cooking torcurry, rice, roti, fried vegetables, cha. Men do all the shopping at the local market, because they don't want their women to be out, in public, amidst crowds of people. But Rani was kept very busy at home, sweeping floors and beds, washing clothes and dishes. At 16 she served her purpose as a wife by giving birth to a son, bringing honour to herself and to her husband's family. If she hadn't produced a male heir, she would have risked seeing her husband take a second wife.

When her husband was at home, Rani's in-laws treated her well. But when her husband left the house the atmosphere changed. Her mother-in-law became much more demanding and critical. Worse still, her father-in-law flew into rages with little provocation. Rani told her husband, but he didn't believe the situation was as bad as she claimed. Besides, she was only his wife - much lower than his mother or his father in the hierarchy of his affections. It was her duty to obey his mother and father. He knew it and she knew it.

One day her husband came home and announced with pride that he had been offered a job as a taxi driver in the capital city. Fear gripped Rani. Her husband was going to leave her and her son in the village with his family. She begged and pleaded to be taken with him: "I cannot stay here with your family. I am scared of your father's rages. Please take me with you. I can get a job as well and we will have more money."

At first he resented having his decisions questioned by his young wife, and he refused to discuss it with her. But in his heart he did have some affection for her: she was very pretty, a little stubborn and easy to laugh with. Eventually, he agreed to take her. In the cities, women can get jobs in garment factories, or work in foreign aid, health care, nursing or administration. Poorer women can set up small road-side stalls, sweep the streets or work as domestic helpers.

Rani loved the (relative) freedom of the city. She enrolled in college so she could finish her schooling, and she made friends - both men and women. The boys flirted with her, which she found amusing. Her husband tolerated her new friendships but he kept her under surveillance. He would ring her many times a day to see where she was, who she was with, what she was doing. He would then check with their neighbours to verify her whereabouts. These were much looser constraints than Rani had ever known. She was happier than she had been for a long time.

Then her husband came home a second time with news...much bigger news than the taxi job. A man had offered to sponsor him to work overseas. Rani's husband was heading to the bright lights of the west - alone. The village loomed large, ominous, in Rani's thoughts. She would have to return there to live with her in-laws. She was determined not to go. She fought. She cried. She yelled. She simply refused to get on the bus.

Her husband finally agreed to let her live in the city while he lived overseas, but she had to stay under the protection of his brother. And he was not going to send her any money at all. Immodest, unwise, foolish and stubborn: Rani's behaviour was all these and more. When her husband's brother abandoned her in the city, she refused to admit defeat. She stayed in the city with her son.

Her food pile diminished. She stopped attending her classes. She was two months behind in her rent. Men started to knock on her door, attracted by her prettiness and her vulnerability. Neighbours called her a "bad woman". And yet she would not leave. Eventually her husband began sending her a little bit of money, but this was a sporadic and unreliable income. So she scrounged around, taking whatever work she could get and borrowing money from friends...all the while looking after her young son. Hers is a poor country, used to operating in crisis mode. And Rani got by, somehow.

The reality is that there is no happy ending to this woman's story. In South Asia, most women are accepting of their life - even if they hate it. But Rani joined the trickle of women who are beginning to push boundaries, defy expectations, and demand a new society. We are too early in the history of this new country for there to be a good outcome for her. Perhaps, in the end, Rani will be one of the women sacrificed to bring her country forward. In the meantime, she will struggle endlessly to find a job and to find a person who will rent to a single woman. She will be pressured, on every side, to return to the village.

Please pray for Rani as she perseveres through hardship and injustice as a single mother in her country. Pray that God would transform Rani’s country and others like it, protecting and caring for women and other marginalised people in South Asia. Ask that God would raise up workers for his harvest field in South Asia – to show Christ’s love to the lost in the cities and in the villages, especially through development and caring ministries.